opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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