My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
