is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
