Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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