while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
