wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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