i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
