captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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