I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
