Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
