My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
