I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
