New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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