Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
