hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
