did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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