listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well I just put wine in my tea
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
