Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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