you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
