That's when you crack a 10am beer
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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