Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
They took my balls.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
