I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm like, not good at living.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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