I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
