awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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