found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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