dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize