Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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