Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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