don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
