I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm having to shit out rocks
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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