I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
