She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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