I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
