none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
id be glad to
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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