My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
