Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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