That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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