either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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