I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
