sarcasm needs its own font
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
