I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
