He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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