What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
