i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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