Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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