Me. At least after what I've been through.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
