There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
