im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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