I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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