i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
