I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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