you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
