If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
